I don't know why. It just happened.
Early on, I studied hard, but also always had a book on the go. Did drawings/paintings, wrote poetry. Did the work, but also did the things I enjoyed.
Years ago, had a conversation with someone I was studying with on the bus. She had stopped doing all the fun things, and just 'concentrated' on studies. If it wasn't related to studies, she wasn't going to read it. I thought maybe she's right. So I stopped always having a book on the go, and just read for leisure on breaks (as in when no exams or courseworks or homeworks were looming in the distance).
My first mistake.
When you stop reading for leisure, you just take out the leisure and enjoyment. You don't read any faster, you don't spend any more time studying. You still need to have a regular break. Reading just becomes associated with work.
Painting and drawing take time. You feel great afterwards. Especially when you've been in the 'zone', and had such focus. You come out of it, and have something beautiful that you have made. Something concrete for your time.
But as life gets busier, unless you make time for things that take time, you won't find the time. They get left by the wayside.
And then the work/study thing. Once you graduate, your goals change, your motivation changes. You have to find new goals to take you forward, since the old ones have done their job, and are no longer applicable to the next phase of your life. You feel exhausted after a day of work, and when you just want to regain some calm, before the next relentless day rolls on, you actually really ought to be putting in the hours for further study.
I suppose that is the challange that comes with getting older. All those competing demands on your limited time, and how, after subtracting time spent: at work, sleeping, eating, washing, dressing and other essentials, you organise yourself so with the time you have left you can do stuff that can further yourself workwise (remaining static is never an option), but also do the things that keep you going as a person. The fun stuff. The uplifting stuff. The stuff that makes your life memorable and worthwhile.
I can see that as time wears on, demands on the limited time are just going to keep on growing. Question is how to fit it all in.
Once you stop doing things regularly, it becomes harder to put it back in.
I think I need to put the fun stuff back in.
